Wellspring Babble

what's been happening???

2008-06-05T11:09:00.001-07:00

Looking at the photo of my girls under the Crabapple tree last year makes me realize how quickly time flys!! We have had so much "new" since then that I can't even begin to recount it all.

I do think I learned "More About Jesus" in 2007...only problem is,...I've got so much more to learn!!

I am now an upright bassist. That's right. I am a musician now. Took it up after Christmas. I love it. I get to play with my boys. Our band took home 3rd place honors at the Silver Dollar City Youth in Bluegrass Contest just recently. If you want to see our performance, just go to YouTube and type in "clarktunes" and you'll see us.

I was inspired to blog...again...by someone else. This time it is my friend who has the "welcominggod" blog. She is so inspiring anyway!! I wanted to tell her that the book she is so enjoying is my favorite too. For all you who might wonder, it is the Elisabeth Prentiss book: "Stepping Heavenward." I recommend it for any young girl old enough to appreciate what it means to grow up.

Well, nothing life changing here. I just wanted to update. Maybe I'll be better at this in the future.

My little garden is coming along. One row of the 10 rows of corn must be planted too deep...I only have a few plants up. But, everything esle seems to be doing well. Okra, squash, onions, tomatoes, eggplant, bell peppers, green beans, and flowers. I'll try to take a picture and post it on here. I'll also try to post more pics of my family.

Origino

My Do-Do Glasses

2007-12-11T06:27:00.000-08:00

A man who I admire greatly spoke at our church earlier this year. He shared his testimony of coming to Jesus at 17. He grew up in a home with an violent, alcoholic dad and no church background at all. He said that one day while walking down the road at age 17, he instantly fell in love with Jesus and asked Him to save him. No revivals, no tracts, no nothing....except the Holy Spirit leading him. He shared how he would go out into a barn at his house and lay in the loft, singing to the Lord and enjoying sweet communion with him. After a time, he decided to enter into ministry to bring others to the Lord. He approached this the same way that most people do...by going to some sort of school or seminary. As he got more and more involved in the seminary, he started to be pulled away from the Lord. Suddenly, there were all these rules and things you had to do to be "..in a right relationship." The man went ahead to use a funny illustration, I thought. He said something like this: suddenly, there were these glasses you had to put on. On one lense it said "do" and on the other lense it said "do." I started referring to these as "do-do glasses." And you know what? It was a bunch of do-do!! (Perhaps some of you reading this (wallace or natascia) are offended. ha He went on to make the point that the more we try to "do" to be right with the Lord, the more we will fail. His final and most wonderful point was this: all we have to do is fix our eyes on Jesus. Jesus will keep us in the right relationship with Himself. (Okay, maybe I over simplified what he said a little, but this was his basic message.

The only example that comes to my mind that might illustrate this man's point is that of walking with a cup of water. Have you ever noticed that if you have a very full cup of water that you are trying not to spill and you keep your eye on the cup as you walk, some inevitably spills?? But, (and at least this is the case for me) if you keep your eyes focused straight ahead and just walk to the destination you are headed for...wherever that may be...USUALLY you don't spill. Test it out and see if it's true for you. Anyway, that same "trying too hard" idea makes sense to me. I think that in many things, I work myself silly with poor results. If I can only fix my eyes on Jesus and rest...and I do mean REST in Him, then I usually have more peace, if nothing else. And even if my results aren't the ones I was shooting for, if I have peace about them, is that not better???

Now, to relate this babble to my life right now. I'm no health nut. I'm no slob either. I try to avoid sugar. I take vitamins daily. I even take Omega 3's and B12. I don't smoke. I only have wine about once every two months (perhaps I should have more.) No hard alcoholic beverages...unless I'm on vacation at the beach, but that's another story. I don't exercise regularly, but I do help my kids rake a yard now and then and in the summer, I have a big garden. I work around the house and I am not exactly a couch potato. I try to incorporate healthy foods at meals. At the first signs of an infection of any sort, I start my garlic and my extra water intake. Currently, I have a raging sinus/middle ear infection. I have taken Eccenacia and Elderberry since the first signs of a sore throat. I made garlic tea and put apple cider vinegar in it....and actually drank it! I am doing alot, don't you agree?? Do I even have to make the rest of this point?? The one thing that I have not done is to rest. No, not me. I just try to keep going. Today, I stop the "doing." Don't get me wrong, I am going to drink my garlic tea..there is value in that. I am going to read books to Sallie Ann because I can do that sitting down. But...and I mean this with all my heart....I'm going to rest. I'm going to rest in the Lord. I'm going to wait on Him and know that he really does (and always has) healed all my diseases.

How many times will it take for me to learn that if I will rest, be patient and wait, that I don't have to do nearly as much as I once thought. Why is resting so hard?? Is it because we are seen as "weak" when we decide to rest?? Is it because the things that we are doing are really so important that we just can not take a day or two to sit and wait?? I know a lot of people are in positions in life where it is very difficult to rest, esp. people with small children who require much more care than those of us with older children. But...and this is a big but...can even those people not just sit and do most of it??? '

Today, I rest. "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 50something verse something. I'm too tired to do a search to find out exactly what scripture it is...but it is the only thing on my lenses today.

Origino

Brotherly Inspiration

2007-12-10T09:27:00.001-08:00

My brother emailed me this week and said that he noticed that I hadn't blogged in a while. I didn't know anyone ever even thought about my blog. I've decided to post something new. It will be an "update" to being more like Jesus.

Life has presented me with ample opportunities to be More Like Jesus. If I had to list my successes and failures side-by-side, in review of this years attempts at being more like Him, surely the failures would be more than double the successes. But, I have had some divine moments (usually they were when I was weakest) where God led me directly in His path. My faith increases each time I turn from my flesh and follow in His footsteps.

A friend of mine was recently asked the question, "What is walking by the Spirit? I've always heard of this, but how do you really know if you are doing it??" I thought her answer was divine. She said, "Anytime you have an opportunity to show either love or hate, mercy or judgment, grace or condemnation...and you choose the ones that Jesus would show, then you know you are walking by the Spirit." Pretty good answer. Pretty simple too. The more you choose His ways, the more blessed you are. It's win-win.

Well, my kids are not conducting themselves in an orderly manner...(clear throat)...so I am going to go have a "counselling" session with them. Reader might want to say a short prayer for them. ha

Next time: Update on my hair.

Oregano!!!

Laughing at Myself..and Babbling to Myself

2007-04-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

I just read my last two posts. I'm laughing (at least on the inside.) I want to be more like Jesus. It seemed to last about a month. Then, I wanted great hair. Am I a typical, shallow, dufus or what??? I suppose it is possible to be more like Jesus AND have pretty hair........isn't it?? Let's take a poll. Vote on whether or not people with pretty hair can be more like Jesus. Let's take another poll. Vote on this: Can people who think it would be fun to take a poll on whether or not you can be more like Jesus and have pretty hair....be more like Jesus? Oh, I really hope so.

Well, anyway.....

If anyone else on the planet is reading this, you need to visit my friend Natascia's blog called "Let's Face It..." and read what she wrote about her daughter swallowing a coin. It is great!! She is so talented. There is a link to her blog here on my site. Natascia, you are growing in your faith and you don't even know it!!!

Tonight my mom turned 74. She is on a walker, but still well enough to go out for Chinese food and have a party with us. I don't know why, but somehow I can be with my mom and look right past her handicap. When I say "look past", I mean that I totally ignore it...until it slaps me in the face like it has done lately. My mom seems to be in a very slow down-hill slide. Her health fails a little more each day. If I had a video of her from 4 years ago, her decline would be very apparent, I fear. If I let myself think too deeply about it, I get very sad. My mom was such a hard worker and always dreamed of traveling when she had the chance. Looks like Providence decided she'd stay close to home. I grieve that for her. However, we are all headed down some path of decline. (I'm just a ball of light and joy tonight, huh.) Really, I don't mind the thought. I am becoming quite comfortable with my own limitations...and I think that I, too, am on a slow, down-hill slide (in more areas than just my health sometimes.) My prayer for myself, and I guess for my mom too, is that we seek God's light of truth to transform the way we see our decline.

There are wonderful lessons in nature that would teach us something about aging and death. The trees in the fall are prettier to me than any time of year...including spring. (Look at the picture of our crabapple tree just two weeks ago and you'll have something to compare to my feelings for fall.) Even the "dead" look of trees in the winter have their own haunting beauty. There are many comparisons to life in the changing of the trees...but the one that is most striking to me is that in order for there to be something beautiful and new, fresh and stunning, full of life and fruit, ....there has to be something changed, cold, and dead. Does anyone ever wonder that spring and summer will not come after a winter? If a tree is still rooted and standing, is it strange that new growth will appear with the warming of the earth? Life will come after death for those of us who are still in the "root" or The Vine...and it will be beautiful, stunning, fresh, full of life, fruitful...and wonderful. Haven't you read about people who have had near death experiences and they speak of the "warm light" that they were drawn toward? There will be warmth, newness, and life after death. In the meantime, may we all be enabled by the power of the Holy Spirit to enjoy the changes that are inevitable in life and find beauty, even in the death of things.

As for my hair,....well.............it grows. (Thank goodness!!!)

It was 37 degrees when we drove home from mother's house tonight. Mom told me that there'd be another freeze and that I shouldn't plant my plants yet (that was about 2 weeks ago.) I thought that surely, since it had been almost 90 degrees off and on for the two weeks prior, no more freezing weather would be in the forecast. When am I going to learn to listen to my mother????????

Last note: (and it really doesn't matter...I'm just writing it for myself to read)... It was 4 years ago yesterday, April 5, 2003, that we moved to Searcy from Magnolia. Time has really flown since then. My children have grown so much. I've grown so much (literally and metaphorically speaking.) ha

Ciao!!...and for you English speaking people: Bye

Sweet Peace and the Stomach Flu

2007-02-10T20:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight is a strange night; awful, yet wonderful. We all have either had, (that would be me) or are in the process of having the stomach flu. I'll spare the awful details, but those of you who have had the experience of running to the bathroom frequently during a given 24 hour period can relate. My whole family is down at the moment. Some have fever; some have thrown up several times today; others are dizzy and dehydrated. Okay, so I decided not to spare you the details. But, and forgive me if I sound unsympathetic to my suffering family, it is so peaceful in this house right now. No one is stirring. No one needed any supper. I just fix glasses of Sprite and I'm through. God, in His mercy, has given us wonderful rest in a very comfortable environment. It's hard to even categorize it as "suffering", although I'm not sure that my family would agree with that last statement(...and I'm not sure I would have agreed yesterday.) There is something to be said for sleeping on and off for a whole day. There is even more to be said for being made acutely aware of how blessed you are to be able to go about your day-to-day activities with thoughtless ease.

I thought about my friend, Alan, during my "down time." He has had "down time" for over 5 years now. For the last two of his five years, he has been on a ventilator. He has Lou Gerihg's Disease. I cannot even begin to imagine a day in his life. Alan has been to me a "shining star in a dark universe." He has written books with a special computer keyboard. He has been an encouragment to me and to so many. He is God's grace, personified. My prayers for Alan are mostly Holy Spirit groanings now. I keep asking that the LORD either heal him or take him home, ...but still no answer yet. I don't know why. It seems awful....but I know that there is some wonderful in it all...somehow. God's Word says so. In Romans 11:36 it says that Christ is to all, through all, and in all. I believe it. Someday, with eyes unveiled, we'll know as we are known. I want the LORD to show me all the wonderful work He accomplished through this man and his suffering. I know that when the Lord shows me, there will have been something wrought for me too.

Thank you, Alan. Thank you, LORD. Thank you for awful things that hold within them your wonderful grace and peace.

Hair

2007-01-21T21:47:00.000-08:00

Well, I started the new year off with a change in hairstyle. I've been growing my hair long for the last couple of years...and it just wasn't working. So, I've gone back to a shorter style. What is it about women and hair? I know that I'm borderline personality disorder anyway...but when it comes to hair, I'm a lunatic!!! I am in a constant want of a new look with my hair. It is crazy. Can I get a witness people!!!??? I like the new, shorter style..but I'm constantly checking out other women's dos and thinking, "Would mine look good like that?" Perhaps it isn't the hair that needs changing at all. Maybe the dissatisfaction is a symptom of a much deeper crisis that needs an over haul.

I'm not sure where this fits in with my "More About Jesus" motto for 2007. Something tells me that Jesus didn't worry about his hair. Can someone tell me how to quit wanting to "look" a certain way? It is such vanity, I know. But I still haven't found the answer here. I'm sure open to someone setting me straight. Come on, Nat. What do you have to say here.

More About Jesus

2007-01-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

Well, here goes the New Year!!!! Fresh starts, better living, setting goals, blah, blah, blah...I've said it all before. Could this year really be the start of something different?

I am going to be a pilgrim this year. I am going to resolve only one thing: To be more like Jesus. I figure if I can master being more like Him, everything else will fall in place; and even if it doesn't, I'll have peace. My theme song for this year is "More About Jesus." It is an old hymn we sang at my mom's church where I attended until I was about 18. The song came to me while listening to our elder, John D. speak at church on Sunday morning. John said something to the effect of.."instead of resolving shallow things like losing weight, getting out of debt, or matters of earthly importance, why don't we try to have a closer walk with our Lord?" I bet I've heard that said before...but it "took" this time. You know how it is....when your heart is ready to receive something, that is when you really get it. I'm tired of setting goals only to be disappointed. Perhaps the reason I've been so disappointed in the past had nothing to do with not meeting the goals, but it was the poor choice of goals in the first place.

"More about Jesus would I know, More of His grace to others show; More of His saving fullness see, More of His love who died for me."

"More about Jesus let me learn, More of His holy will discern; Spirit of God, my teacher be, Showing the things of Christ to me."

"More about Jesus; in His word, Holding communion with my Lord; Hearing His voice in every line, Making each faithful saying mine."

"More about Jesus on His throne, Riches in glory all His own; More of His kingdom's sure increase; More of His coming, Prince of Peace."

"More, more about Jesus, More, more, about Jesus; More of His saving fullness see, More of His love who died for me."

And wouldn't you know on the opposite page in the song book is the song by Elisabeth P. Prentiss, who wrote the book "Stepping Heavenward" ...which is only my favorite book that I've ever read...to date. Her song is "More Love to Thee, O Christ."

I'm on the right path...I know it!

Amen and amen. Here's to 2007!

Hard Alters

2006-12-30T17:03:00.000-08:00

It occurred to me this week that in the Old Testament, all the times I remember God instructing one of the great fore fathers to errect an alter to Him, he told them to use rocks. These rocks were places of rememberance; places to remember what God did. Couldn't he have told them to plant flowers? Couldn't he have told them to create a beautiful lake? What about just carving something into a tree or something....something other than cold, hard, stones. I asked my husband what he thought about this idea. He said it was probably because God knew that it needed to be something sturdy and durable. Perhaps he is right. I wonder if it wasn't a sort of analogy to what God knew would be the times that we remember Him working in our lives. Perhaps God understand that the hardest, roughest circumstances were going to be the ones when we remembered His hand helping us the most. Maybe God understood the cold, hard feelings and emotions we experience when He is working most in our lives. Once those circumstances and hard times are past, we look back at that place in our lives and remember...but all we see left is the piles of rocks...because we
almost always move on to softer, warmer, prettier times. But that pile of rock is still there in our past...and we often say, "It wasn't as bad as I thought at the time."

Any thoughts?

Questioning the Pain

2006-12-29T22:44:00.000-08:00

I lost a dear friend this week to a very hellish battle with leukemia. Death won a temorary victory...at least over me. She's home now; I'm not. I have asked God so many questions, and sometimes not with a good attitude (like I tell my children to have all the time.) I've felt a little guilty for the irreverant way that I've been asking God about death, my friend's death, and whether or not I'm supposed to ask Him to heal people with cancer or any kind of "terminal" illness. Quite frankly, I don't have a whole lot of testimonies to share about those kinds of healings. I haven't received any hard, straight answers yet, but I've been given a bit of revelation here and there. I'll share one piece of these bits of revelation with you, my readers.

In 1997, my husband was in a terrible wreck. His life was spared, but his body wasn't. He was hurt "real good." ha He looked like a Picasso painting...body parts in wrong places. ha Anyway, my two boys were only 5 and barely 3 at the time. After two days in a hospital and a few surgeries, a dear friend brought the boys from 2 1/2 hours away to see their dad. Before I took the boys into the room to see dad, I tried to explain that dad didn't look like he did when they saw him last. I tried to explain that it might be scary or even a little funny, but that it was really dad and that he was going to be okay. (I was trying to convince myself of those same things too.) As we boarded the elevator to go to the third floor where dad was resting, my 3 year old asked me some questions. They were serious questions to him. The first one was: "Did his head cut off?"
"No", I answered. "Did his eyes fall out?" "No." Even though I found these questions a little funny, my little boy NEEDED to ask them. He needed me to answer them. I could have sat him down before we went into the room and explained everything he was about to see in physiological terms. I could have described how the broken orbital bone caused a leak in the spinal fluid and how it was pooling behind his dad's eye, thus causing the bulging eye....ect....you get the picture. I could have given truthful, honest, correct explainations; and his three year old mind could not have grasped hardly any of it. However, I would have gladly stood in that elevator for another hour and let him ask me any questions that he could have thought up. I felt total compassion for his little mind trying to understand.

Now, you probably see where I'm going with this. If I sat on God's lap tonight and asked Him why my friend had to die, He could probably tell me all the ways that He is using her illness and death to further His kingdom and carry out plans that he has for each person touched by this tragedy in one way or another, but I would probably be like a three year old and only get the "yes" and "no" explanations. I might not even get those. Yet, if I know how to be compassionate to my child and am patient to answer his questions, how much more is my Heavenly Father patient and compassionate toward me???!!! I feel no guilt for asking "why." I do trust my Father. But I have to try to understand; I must ask. Some people don't have to ask; they just trust. I envy that, in a way. I believe that my Father is okay with my asking though.

Lost Post

2006-12-16T20:07:00.002-08:00

I spent 30 minutes creating a post that had some wonderful thoughts about my night tonight. Somehow, I clicked the wrong thing and lost it all before I could publish it. This is no small matter to me. Natascha, you'll just have to ask me to tell you what I posted because I ain't gonna sit here any longer!!! grrrrrrrrrr!!!

It was a good thought though. I guess I could at least post the bottom line point of the whole story: "You never know who you are going to bless...especially when you don't think you are going to bless anyone. "

If anyone is ever interested enough to leave a comment that asks me to write the story again, I'll do it. Otherwise, you and I will talk about it over coffee, Nat.

love,
Cindy

gathering

2006-12-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day. What started out as a time for a few people to get together with no real agenda, wound up being a wonderful time of prayer, sharing and encouragement. (At least for me...and I think for the others too.) I was most happy about how it all turned out.

I am still a bit sad, however. I am trying to keep my perspective about my little dog, Joe. He was our dear little pet who disappeared about 2 days ago. He hardly ever leaves the yard so it is a mystery as to what has actually happened to him. In the middle of people fighting for their lives, people dying in wars, heartbreaks like families falling apart, and the general hardship of day-to-day life, I am still selfish enough (if that is what it is) to miss and greive for my little pet. My God is big enough not to be bothered by my asking for something so petty as a little dog to be "breathed together again" ...or "released from the captives." God cares about the biggest things and the littlest. Isn't that wonderful?!! I'll try to post a picture of him. Just call it my tribute to Joe, or Jingle Joe, as we'd become accoustomed to calling him (his collar always jingled.) Here's to everyone who has loved and lost a pet. I'm sorry. ...and I DO know how you feel.

ciao!!!

blogging frustration

2006-12-13T16:26:00.000-08:00

Nat, you HAVE TO BE ABLE TO POST COMMENTS...no one else is ever going to read this. As I understood things, I had to make a Google Account to be able to create a new blog. I wonder what in the world I've signed myself up for here....

one more thought....

2006-12-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

After watching the movie, "Facing the Giants" last night, I was encouraged and reminded that we do serve a God that can do everything and anything at any time He wants. I only need to read the Gospels to remind myself of that. And yet, I live in the real world...not the world of movies where all the endings are happy. Not every challenge I've faced turned out "picture perfect." This blog is not necessarily to criticize the movie, but to challenge Christians to understand, what I believe is the true message of the movie: Praise Him anyway. All prayers aren't answered in the way we'd most like to see them answered; praise Him anyway!!! People we love die; praise Him anyway!!! Diseases go unhealed and people suffer; praise Him anyway!!! There are disappointments in life. Being a Christian doesn't make you immune to disappointments. But it will help you take the disappointment easier.....if you choose to praise Him anyway.

I don't always take my own advice, but today...I'll praise Him. To whoever reads this: your job is to remind me, no matter what my circumstances are, to praise Him anyway.

Praise Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Changing...and questioning

2006-12-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

Okay. So I'm not so good at this blogging stuff. I had to create a new blog name and account because I couldn't log in to the other one. There were no literary masterpieces left behind. This one, like the others, will be about the same speed.

I couldn't use the name I wanted...which was "Mindspill" because that is what ends up on these sites. The spilling of the mind. I thought about the Bible verse Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." NIV In the King James Version, it says...">.for out of it (heart) are the issues of life." I didn't think "Issuebabble" sounded as good as "wellspringbabble" (Sorry Mike Pearl. I used NIV this time.)

Well, the whole reason that I wanted to get something on the screen again is because I hope that someone will read this with the answer to my question. Here is the question. What am I missing in my Christian faith? Today I read about the woman with a bleeding disorder in Luke 8. I read where she touched the hem of Jesus' garment..and was immediately healed. Jesus' spirit resides in me. Is it lack of faith in me? That woman didn't have Jesus' spirit indwelling her...or did she? I don't think she did. Someone help me here. I would love to hear (read) other's thoughts about this.

Nat, you'll have to change my blog thingy. Sorry for all the trouble.

Cindy